Is that all there is?
Mike Stoller and Jerry Leiber —
If that’s all there is, my friends,
then let’s keep dancing.
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball,
How many of you remember Peggy Lee singing this song in 1969? And how many of us have said or sung that several times throughout our lives? We reach a stage of life I call the “Messy Midlife;” we look around and ask ourselves “Is that all there is?”
So, what do we do with our messy midlife? We change careers, we go back to school, we have an affair and/or get a divorce, we buy a sports car, we bleach our hair, we do everything we can to bring back a sense of newness to our lives. We feel like our lives are half over and what do we have to show for it? Is this all there is?
If you’ve had these thoughts, you’re in good company. Is “midlife crisis” a myth or is it real? To those going through it, it’s very real. You’ve had a good life, but now something seems to be missing. Some of our activities can end up being very positive, depending on how and why we carry them out.
Going back to school can work at any age. Changing careers can bring a new purpose to your life. You are never too old to do or be what you’ve always wanted to do or be! Don’t sit at home and moan about getting older. Not everyone will be granted that privilege.
Some of you took an online course I created – “Growing Older with Gusto!” (https://lavalily.com/learn-with-lucy/) That course is being updated and will be available again soon. As I inch toward my ninetieth birthday, I may have a few words to help guide you into your older years.
In late spring of this year, I will offer a new course called “Gusto Through a Messy Midlife!” Watch for the announcement on my website or get the free app (Learn with Lucy) from either Apple or Google and sign up for announcements.
A hui hou!
****The song was inspired by Thomas Mann’s short story, “Disillusionment.” The song was written by Mike Stoller and Jerry Leiber, and arranged by Randy Newman. The photo is one I took at the Colosseum in Rome, Italy.
On a societal basis, I feel we often use the term “maturity” to include both physical and mental aspects of our being and feel or assume they are reached simultaneously when the reality is that we achieve physical maturity relatively early in our lifespan, and I would argue never achieve mental maturity in our lifespan. In my lifespan, I have academic credentials in journalism, business, and nursing, and these represent only a few of my interests that have emerged as I gain knowledge, insight, and a desire to continue to grow spiritually on a humanitarian basis to assure that others have the right to strive for mental maturity to achieve self-actualization which I interpret as mental maturity. My interpretation of myself, at 73 years old, is that I am still trying to figure out want I want to be when I grow up. I hope I never figure it out, because I am having too much fun!
Ah, if only I had degrees in each of my interests! Fortunately, we can continue with any of our interests regardless of age or “maturity!” I think most of us keep wondering what we want to be when we grow up – until our very last breath!
Great, inspiring words Lucy! Midlife is such a rich time. Young enough to have the time and energy to switch course fairly easily, with the wisdom that comes with some years on this planet, to make a sound decision.